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Proof That The World Is Nuts


 

In  Lebanon  , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.


(Like THAT makes sense.)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


In  Bahrain  , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.


(Do they look different reversed?)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.


(A brick?)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


The penalty for masturbation in  Indonesia  is decapitation.


(Much worse than 'going blind!')


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


There are men in  Guam  whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time


Reason: under  Guam  law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.


(Let's just think for a minute; is there


any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


In  Hong Kong  , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.


The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.


(Ah! Justice!)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Topless saleswomen are legal in  Liverpool , England    - but only in tropical fish stores.


(But of course!)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


In  Cali , Colombia  , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.


(Makes one shudder at the thought.)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


In  Santa Cruz , Bolivia  , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.


(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


In  Maryland  , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'


(Is this a great country or what?


Well,.... not as great as  Guam  !)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.


(Who volunteers for these tests?)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


(From drinking little bottles of ???)


(Did our government pay for this research??)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Butterflies taste with their feet..


(Ah, geez.)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.


(I know some people like that.)


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Starfish don't have brains.


(I know some people like that, too.)


*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


And, the best for last?


Turtles can breathe through their butts.


(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)


Thank you all for reading this.


If you need to reach me in the future, I will be in 
Guam  !!!!!!






Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation!!

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too harTd ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ... its male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache . she's tired. If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first ?


Because they want to.