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 HOW TO SPEAK MEXICAN

*CHEESE* - MARIA LIKES ME BUT CHEESE FAT
*MUSHROOM*- WHEN ALL MY FAMILY GETS IN THE CAR, THERE ISN’T MUSHROOM
*SHOULDER*- MY FRIEND DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE TACOS SO I SHOULER
*TEXAS*- MY FRIEND ALWAYS TEXAS ME
*HERPES*- ME AND MY FRIEND SHARED A PIZZA, I GOT MY PIECE AND SHE GOT HERPES
*JULY*- YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO THE STORE, AND JULY TO ME!! JULYER!!
*RECTUM*- I HAD TO CARS BUT MY WIFE RECTUM
*CHICKEN*- I WAS GOING TO THE STORE WITH MY WIFE BUT CHICKEN GO BY HERSELF
*WHEELCHAIR*- WE ONLY HAVE ONE SODA BUT IT’S OK WHEELCHAIR
*CHICKEN WING*- MY MOM PLAYS THE LOTTERY SO CHICKEN WING
*LIVER*- A BULLY WAS MESSING WITH MY SISTER AND I TOLD HIM TO LIVER ALONE
*BODYWASH*- I WANTED TO GO TO THE BAR BUT NO BODY WASH MY KIDS
*BUDWIESER*- THAT WOMAN OVER THERE HAS A NICE BODY, BUDWIESER FACE SO UGLY?
 



Summer Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Sat., August 28, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a   Bath  Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to  Parallel   Park  In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined  

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day...  
And to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor!